Thoughts and Concentrations

Posted on Fri May 19th, 2023 @ 4:29pm by Lieutenant Evelyn Stewart & Char

2,796 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: Prologue: Centre Predominate
Location: USS Moore - DMZ
Timeline: MD 10: 2000 hours

Evelyn had situated herself at one of the tables so that she would be close enough to hear the usual rowdiness of the crew as they laughed and told stories to another, while having the streaming stars of warp speed in her direct eyeline as she focused on her kal-toh board.

Taking another long sip of her ale, she eyed the chaos that was the rods and focused on following the pattern that would lead to victory.

A peace as calming as any meditation she engaged in came over her as she relaxed her body and eventually her mind, letting the next move present itself to her.

Stryvek strolled into the lounge affectionately named the DMZ. He did not partake in much of the festivities or drink that was offered. He went mainly to observe his crew, and to be seen by his crew. Over the many years that he had been in Starfleet he learned that this was what was expected of a Captain and it boosted morale. When he walked in he noticed Evelyn Stewart intently playing a game of Kal-toh. Without disturbing her he sat opposite her to see how she would do. Stryvek had little experience in watching a human play the game.

Stewart was marginally aware that Stryvek sat down to watch her play. It didn’t distract her though, like all the other stimuli around. She focused on the mess for a moment she placed a rod in a seemingly random, and completely illogical position. There was no change in the structure’s shape.

Evelyn was neither bothered or deterred though. She decidedly picked up another rod and placed it into the confused chaos. The structure changed shape dramatically, a sizable portion being manipulated into the desired form.

The strategy would be clear to any experienced player, even if it is frowned upon for being so reckless. She sacrificed one rod into a useless position to capitalize on it with another rod for a gain of what would traditionally take four or five moves to accomplish. It spoke of an aggressive strategy based in no small part on emotions, imagination and foresight as well as self confidence that bordered on arrogance rather than facts and logic.

Stryvek could see her strategy and while he appriciated it he also knew that she would not win the game with that strategy. Hers was an emotional approach and Kal'toh could not be won by emotions. "Impressive..." he said in a low tone as to not entirely break her concentration. "If I may... I am curious how you came up with that approach." He thought it best to break into the conversation slowly and then offer to help her beat the game.

Stewart glanced at the Vulcan, then the board. “In the midst of chaos, there is opportunity.” She said, quoting Sun-Tzu. She gestured to the chair across from her for the Captain to join her. “As a child I began to see that in order to bring balance sometimes one must embrace the chaos to see beyond it. By sacrificing one rod, the opportunities for success multiple. Those opportunities must be seized or the sacrifice was for nothing.” She pointed out about the aggressive philosophy, clearly finding nothing wrong with the concept.

Stewart finished her ale and glanced around to Char and signaled for another round in the rowdy room.

Stryvek took the seat opposite her and observed the board for about a minute in silence. He understood her poiint, did not agree with it, but understood it. "There is a flaw in your line of thinking. Kal'toh like life is a journey to find the balance with what you have. Sacrafice should not be needed or wanted. For as the game progresses you will find that the rod you sacrificed is needed."

If Stewart was offended at the assessment, she didn’t show it. If anything she looked at the Vulcan curiously. “I’m surprised, Captain. That’s a rather naive perspective. Everything requires sacrifice. Every choice, every decision, means sacrificing one option for another. The sacrifice maybe insignificant or substantial, but the sacrifice still exists.” She noted what was instilled in her by her Tomran and Senril since she could remember. Sentiments only reinforced by Julien Naal and his mentorship following the war.

Evelyn rolled one of the rods back and forth between her thumb and forefinger as she talked. “You cannot achieve harmony without sacrifice. You cannot achieve logic without chaos. They are dependent on one another. It’s not enough to simply acknowledge their existence, they need to be accepted and embraced to be able to see through them to find the best path.” She commented. In truth, she was enjoying this philosophical debate with the Captain. She found it immensely stimulating and for once a Vulcan wasn’t trying to shame her or indoctrinate her into their point of view and took her positions as what they are, respectfully.

"Indeed Lieutenant your arguement is most logical..." Stryvek began with what could only be construed as high praise from a Vulcan. "...However, since you cannot have one without the other. The sacrifice becomes part and parcel to the act. Therefore it is not sacrifice but need. If one needs sacrifice to achieve harmony as you have said. Can it not be said that the sacrifice is part of the harmony. Part of the whole." Stryvek actually hoped that Evelyn saw the leap from their talk of Kaltoh here to life as a whole. He wanted her to realize that her being here was part of the bigger picture. A need to achieve the overall goal.

Evelyn sat back in her seat and looked at the Captain. Stryvek had her full attention as she considered his words and how to respond. They clearly had the desired affect on her.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she silently scrutinized the alien. She didn’t know what to make of him. She never met a Vulcan who challenged her, used her own logic and words against her without being condescending. Stryvek was intriguing. Stewart struggled to think of an argument because she agreed with him, but didn’t want to. It caused her mind to unfocus, unable connect her thoughts. “I suppose-“

“Here you are, Lieutenant, another whiskey and Tarkisan ale.” Said Char as he placed the shot and pint on the table, her usual order. It was then his eyes snapped up at her companion. The Bolian grinned in surprised delight. “Captain! A pleasure to see you here, Sir. What can I get you? I have an exquisite Vulcan brandy, or how about a spiced Vulcan tea to help relax into the evening.” He suggested as he started to ramble. He was not used to having the Vulcan in his lounge and took it as an opportunity to make sure the man had a good time.

Stewart smirked as she watched Stryvek’s reaction to the bombardment of questions while downing her shot. In truth, it was a relief to her that the Bolian interrupted what was proving to be an uncomfortable moment for her. She didn’t know why the conversation made her feel out of sorts but it did.

Stryvek could have cursed the arrival of the Bolian, that is if he had emotions with which to curse. Evelyn began to see the proverbial light and the Captain knew it. He was about to drive the point home when the Bolian barkeep inturrupted the conversation. The Vulcan knew enough to place an order if for no other reason than for appearences. "I would take a spiced Vulcan tea. Thank you."

Evelyn Stewart facinated the Captain. She was rare in that not many non Vulcans were raised on Vulcan. Yet rather than embrace the things learned there and incorporate them into her persona she chose to shun them. It was not only fascinating but most peculiar as far as the Captain knew. It was for this reason that he remained with Stewart at this very moment. He wanted to learn all he could.

“Thanks, Char. I’m going to be all set for the evening.” Stewart said as she handed the Bolian her shot glass, indicating she was cutting herself off prematurely after only two rounds.

After Char blabbered more at the Captain for another minute in his excitement, he turned and left.

Evelyn watched Stryvek closely for a moment as she considered him. “You aren’t like most Vulcans, are you?”

The interruption giving her a chance to collect herself and assert control of the conversation. Taking a large sip of her ale, she took another rod and casually placed it in the mess. The change to the affected area was small, but a step forward. She briefly glanced at the Captain expectedly, but focused on giving an impression of indifference to his presence, determined to hide her curiosity.

Stryvek cocked the ever present eyebrow at the move. He saw another move that Evelyn could have done, this move would have resulted in more of the puzzle being completed. However, he dare not interefere in her game. Kaltoh was more than a game or a puzzle, it was an exploration of one's self and Stryvek knew it. "I am like most Vulcans who have walked the path of Surak as I do." The answer was short, dry, and to the point. The answer that was expected. "And yet unlike some of my kind I have come to realize that the Path of Surak while helpful to every individual is not for every individual."

“Except for the beard. You are hiding something.” Stewart commented, her own bias from being raised in Vulcan culture coming out. Vulcan males rarely grew beards and was culturally seen as something one did to hide an aspect of themselves.

Stewart was so focused on the placement of the next rod in a risky position that threatened the entire balance of the partial sphere that it took her a moment to register the second half of what the Captain said regarding acceptance of others.

Splitting her attention on the conversation and the game, she picked another t’an and placed it deftly. “Why?” She asked curiously. The splitting of her focus between the game, their conversation and the many other stimuli in the room, the aggressive strategy as well as her slightly inebriated state proved to be too much and when the rod was moved into position, the structure completely collapsed into a pile on the table.

Stewart let out a heavy sigh of frustration that was growing into one of genuine anger. “Dammit…” she muttered quietly to herself. She didn’t slip in her placement of the rods, she chose the spots purposefully each time, but they were stupid, short sighted moves done with no real thought or strategy, just impulse. She wasn’t angry at the fact she was distracted. That was indeed the point of this exercise. Anyone can play kal-toh in the comfort and silence of their own quarters in utter solitude. It took true mental discipline and focus to do so among such distractions as streaming stars of warp in one’s eyeline, or in a loud and crowded room, engaged in conversation. No what upset her was who she was talking to and their conversation.

Anger she knew was not based at all on the situation made Evelyn irritable and her movements agitated as she picked up the rods before finishing all of ale. She was already silently admonishing herself for being so impatient and losing focus, in much the same way the Vulcans in her childhood did. She silently cursed herself that she cut herself off so early and wasn’t drunk enough to be numb to her anxiety and insecurities in the moment.

She looked at the Captain expectedly for an answer to her question as she sat back in her chair, arms folded over her chest defiantly.

Stryvek sipped his tea as he watched the Kaltoh sphere implode. He knew this was going to be the result from the moment he sat down. However, as he had thought Evelyn had to learn this lesson for herself. "Kaltoh is a lesson just as much as it is a game. So, in this instance one must ask oneself what one has learned." He paused speaking as he sipped his tea again. "I have learned that to lead within Starfleet emotions and instinct must be allowed to have its place. This is because not everyone is like Vulcans. It seems to me that you must learn the opposite lesson. You must learn that supreme logic has its place among the emotional and instinctual. Simply put you must embrace that which you have shunned for so long."

The Captain knew that she would not embrace this idea. However, it was a tactic that he employed to lay the foundation for what was to come. Everything came in due time and he knew it.

Evelyn resisted the urge to roll her eyes about the lesson in Kal-Toh. She was tired of the same boring argument about the purpose of the game. It was when the Stryvek made a comment about emotions needing to be allowed, and her need to learn that logic and what she should do regarding her Vulcan upbringing that he had her full attention. All the inner rage that she turned on herself for her failings, was now directed at him. The Vulcan had no idea how much mental discipline or control of her emotions she possessed. She was surprised herself how much she had in that moment as she wanted nothing more than to flip the table over and attack the Vulcan.

Stewart sat back in her seat, taking in what he said and let out a shaky breath before addressing him. “I thought we discussed this.” She said, her voice low and threatening as she focused on tapping the control to the board and deactivating the game. She was mindful that she was speaking to her commanding officer, but she was off duty and he had approached her. “I have no desire to be indoctrinated into your insipid philosophies.” She practically sneered at him.

"And I have no desire to indoctrinate you. I am pointing out the logic to both ends of the emotional spectrum. I learned, and some would say the hard way, that emotions and emotional decisions have their place, and can be the right path. This was something I had to learn to get to where I wanted to be. As I said so you seem to need to learn to accept some logic, and to push emotion aside at times. Something I can see you are struggling with this very moment. The anger is roiling within. Would it help you if I did this." He stood up and cocked an eyebrow, curious to see if she would see the lesson here or not. He placed his comm badge on the table, this was the symbol in Starfleet that rank was no longer a privilage.

Evelyn glared at him. If the man wanted to take off his combadge and allow her to speak freely, then fine. “Such typical arrogance. You don’t think I’m aware of the fact that logic has a purpose?” She asked, not waiting for a response before continued to rant at him in hushed tones. “I thought you might be different but you are just like every other Vulcan. You pass judgement on anyone who thinks differently than you, insisting your way is the right way, but when anyone pushes back in the slightest on your superiority you turn into little more than petulant children.”

Stewart grabbed her board. “You may have learned in Starfleet that emotions of others must be tolerated but you learned nothing of tact. Good night, Captain.” She quickly got up from the table before she lost all civility and left the lounge.

Char quietly walked over and took the discarded glass. “You know, she’s got a point, Captain.” He said in his outspoken, Bolian way.

"Unfortunately it is the wrong point." Stryvek replied to the barkeep's input. Fact was he wasn't passing judgement on her. Quite the opposite he tried to point out that his own people were at fault. Srytvek thought for the moment as he watched Evelyn leave the lounge. Perhaps her anger is only partially directed at me. While I am sure my words angered her. She may also be angry with herself as my words hit close to home and she refuses to acknowledge that. He thought as he sat back down to finish his tea and continue to ponder these events.

 

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