Unspoken Truths

Posted on Tue Sep 5th, 2023 @ 6:32pm by Lieutenant Evelyn Stewart

1,635 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Year One: Whispers in the Wind
Location: USS Moore - Bridge
Timeline: MD 010 1030 hrs

Stewart did all she could to swap shifts with Ensign Chapman and get herself assigned back to the colony for the day. But Sasha refused and Evelyn found herself sitting behind the console at helm. It had been five days since she and Stryvek mated. They hadn't spoken since the morning after accept in a professional capacity but she still couldn't get him out of her mind. It wasn't even so much memories of what they shared in his quarters as she felt she could hear his thoughts in her head at times, especially when they were in close proximity.

She was constantly distracted and unable to focus. She couldn't even meditate, her mind kept drifting back to the Vulcan. She had been infatuated before, but she knew this wasn't what was going on. Hearing Styrvek give a standard order to Hirano, she had a vivid memory of their first meeting. She knew something was wrong and she needed answers. With a sigh, she turned to the captain. "Captain, may I have a word with you? In private?"

"Of course Lieutenant, in my Ready Room. The Executive Officer has the bridge." Stryvek said as he stood up and made his way to the Ready Room. Steven Greco could be seen taking the center chair. Without a word he strode into the Ready Room, the Vulcan had some idea what this would be about.

Once the doors closed. "Permission to speak freely is given. I want that established before you begin for I believe I know what this is about. Please proceed." Stryvek said as he sat behind his desk and pointed to a chair, indicating that Evelyn should take a seat.

Evelyn ignored his gesture for her to sit. She was pacing around the small area in front of his desk instead. Frustration and restlessness building up in her. “Why can’t I get you out of my mind? It’s been five days since we…..mated. It’s as if I can still hear you in my mind. It’s driving me crazy.” She admitted, looking to the Vulcan for an explanation as she paced.

"I warned you that this would be more than something physical. I know you are aware of what Vulcan mating can do. It is more a bonding in both the physical and mental states than anything else. What you are experiencing is your mind's desire to be with its mate once again. If you would like to ease the connection you have to attempt to focus your mind on something else. I have read that it is stronger in humans than with Vulcans. If you would like I can have Dr Marlow prescribe something to ease the symptoms. This all should fade in a matter of weeks. That is if we stay away from each other." Stryvek did not mention that he had the same symptoms and felt drawn to her. It could be the residual contact with her human emotions however, there was a need there to simply be around her.

Evelyn dismissed the suggestion of drugs outright. She wasn’t completely blind to her faults. Even she knew she didn’t need to mix drugs into her life. She stopped pacing and looked at the Vulcan with growing agitation. “But I’m not Vulcan, I’m human. I don’t even have the brain structure to accomplish this. How is this even possible?” She asked, barreling on without waiting for a proper answer, railing against everything Stryvek just told her. “It’s a starship. There’s only so much distance we can put between each other, regardless of the fact we are both bridge officers.” She said, pointing out the obvious with a hard look at him before going back to her pacing. Stewart could feel her anger building up and was only invested so much in controlling it.

"As to your brain chemistry, I will tell you that you are partially correct. Your brain does have the structure. It is just that in most of your species it is dormant. When a human mates with a Vulcan, the Vulcan awakens this portion of the human brain. In fact it is the reason that your kind and my kind can mate. As to distance I meant in the physical sense. If we have no further physical contact in the next few weeks that mental bond you feel should subside that is until the next Pon Faar." Stryvek explained. Silently he chastised himself for going through it with Stewart to begin with. She did not know all the risks and now is feeling the fallout from something she was not prepared for.

The area Stewart was pacing widened considerably as she listened, the few times she dared look in Stryvek’s direction, she glanced at him but met his eyes with indignation. Arms folded in front of her as she took this information in, tried to work out a work around. His comment regarding the time it would take her to control her thoughts about the man caused her to stop and look at him incredulously. “A few weeks? What am I supposed to in the meantime?” She asked rhetorically before continuing her pacing, working herself into a temper. “Damn Vulcans…if your species would only accept the fact that procreation in all its forms is a natural part of life and allow real studies and research to be done and collected this wouldn’t have happened!” She practically shouted at the captain as she unfairly lashed out at him and chastised him for Vulcan society’s desire to hide such a private ritual.

Stryvek sat there and allowed her to vent as the saying went. However, when she was finished he spoke calmly. "We have done studies over thousands of years and that is why we arrived at the methods we have. They work and are what is best for most. I do not believe that I have to remind you that you chose this, you were warned and yet you chose it anyway. I confess that there was not enough time to go into detail to explain everything to you and for that I am sorry. The choice here is rather simple. You can indulge the desires and emotions that you are experiencing or you can suppress them and continue with your duties until they subside." He knew that she wanted him to tell her his choice and that is something that he would not do.

Evelyn set her jaw to keep from making a cutting sarcastic remark to Stryvek. It wouldn't help anything to antagonize the man. Instead she sighed and ran her fingers across her eyes to squeeze at the bridge of her nose against the building tension and sleep deprivation. "If I could suppress them I would. I've been trying." She admitted quietly. It was the closest she would allow herself to say she needed his help.

"I will try to help you suppress them if that is what you want. However, you have to know this is what you want. For along with the suppression comes the unbonding." Stryvek began and then after a pause continued. "If it helps in your decision making I would rather you remain bonded." That would be the closest she would get to knowing his true feelings. Although Stryvek knew that she already had an idea of how he felt. The bonding revealed all.

Evelyn looked at Stryvek and held his gaze for a long moment. “I think we both know we are past that point.” She said in acknowledgement of their mutual attraction, even before the bonding now more than obvious to them both. If he could truly hear her thoughts, the Vulcan would know what her choice was. She just bring herself to say it out loud, not directly. With a sigh, she reluctantly nodded as she looked at him at his desk. “So what happens now?” She asked, feeling her temper dissipating while focused on the situation.

"I believe now in accordance with human custom you are my girlfriend." Stryvek said awkwardly. In truth he did not know what to do next or how to act. He hoped that she would lead him through this.

Stewart looked over Stryvek sitting at his desk. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I agreed to sex, not a relationship.” She countered. It was rude but for once, Stewart was glad she didn’t have to worry about hurting the feelings of someone when she suggested just a casual relationship. There was no way she could agree to be in any sort of legitimate relationship with a Vulcan. “Just until I have control of these urges and can control them.” She insisted about her intentions and the length of this agreement.

Stryvek knew that there was no such thing as a casual romantic relationship for a Vulcan. You were either bonded or not. What was more was that he knew that Evelyn knew that. However, now was not the time nor was this the place to have that discussion. "As you wish..." He decided that the best way to proceed would be to allow her to come to a logical decision on her own.

Stewart considered the situation for a long moment before nodding to herself. This was was the right decision and best option, she concluded. Letting go of the back of the chair and standing upright, she excused herself to head back to her post for the rest of the shift. It would be difficult to not think of the Vulcan sitting only a few meters away, but at least now she had an understanding as to why she was doing so. The comfort it gave her was marginal at best, but it still helped.

 

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