Rules and Consequences

Posted on Wed Sep 6th, 2023 @ 10:18am by Lieutenant Evelyn Stewart

1,889 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Year One: Whispers in the Wind
Location: USS Moore - Evelyn Stewart's Quarters
Timeline: MD 014 - 1900 hrs

Evelyn kneeled in her meditation corner with her lamp and closed her eyes. She tried to focus her thoughts but they were as chaotic as her emotions. Sighing in frustration she tried again, harder on following one thought through to conclusion, but it wasn't working. Frustration was boiling over into anger and rage at the lack of control she had over herself. Night after night she went through this ever since she bonded with Styrvek. Despite spending several nights in the captain’s quarters, nothing seemed to be helping. Sex alone was only proving to be a temporary solution to the problem.

Vulcan bonding took its toll on the most rigid of minds. As such, Stryvek could imagine what it did to human minds that were not so rigid. He had read that Amanda Grayson had to undergo a training regimen before her bonding to Sarek. Evelyn did not have the benefit of such training. He also found his own attachment to her growing and so he found himself in front of her quarters as he rang the door chime.

Peace and stillness continued to allude Evelyn. She could feel the tension in her body that wasn’t letting go. She could her muscles throughout her body ache from tightness they held. She tried to focus on her breathing again when she heard the chime, further breaking her concentration. Stewart tried to ignore it but the chime was persistent, only bringing her anger closer to the surface. “What?” She yelled from the corner to the door.

When the doors opened Styvek glided in. "Forgive me for intruding. I just felt that you may be in need of some help in navigating the aftermath. It is hard for Vulcans and with all due respect I imagine it is harder for humans." He stood there rigidly straight with his hands behind his back. He did not want to leave her, in fact he sought a logical reason to be with her. However, if she asked he would leave.

Stewart stood immediately when Stryvek entered her quarters. “What you think it will go any easier in my sheets this time?” She asked sarcastically, temper flaring, before sighing. “I’m sorry. Please, come in. Can I get you something?” She asked as she moved towards the replicator. Her offer and movements automatic.

The outburst was unwarranted but expected so Stryvek showed no acknowledgement of it. He entered and sat on a chair in her living room. "No thank you. As I have said I have come to see if there is anything I can do for you. Any way that I can ease the turmoil. I would like to help as you did this for me. I may have suppressed my emotions. But, I can recognize when someone goes above and beyond for me."

Stewart intentionally kept her distance from the Vulcan. Despite feeling drawn to him, she was determined to show some self control. She could feel herself being both exhilarated by Stryvek’s presence but also soothed by it. It was as if he brought her instead emotions just by being in the same room yet allowed her to control and focus them at the same time. It was a most peculiar sensation. Instead of approaching him, she went and poured herself a whiskey. “How exactly do you intend to do that?” She asked as she took a sip, watching Stryvek. She learned her lesson about having the Vulcan be explicit with his words and intentions. There could be no ambiguity between them.

"There are two options in this case and the choice is of course yours. The first option would be for me to teach you meditation techniques in which you learn how to soothe this mental draw. I can also teach you the beginning lessons of Kolinahr which would allow to suppress emotions when you choose. Option two is you embrace the fact that we are bonded and we remain as a bonded pair. In which case I would show you how a bonded mate would handle this situation." Stryvek crossed his legs as he spoke. From his studies he knew that this would be a tough decision for Evelyn. Choosing to be with a Vulcan as a Human is a very hard choice indeed.

Stewart eyed the Vulcan as she considered the situation. Learning any part of the Kolinahr was out of the question. The whole concept was insulting to her and she refused to ever embrace any part of it. With a sigh that bordered on resignation, she took a larger sip of her whiskey, nearly finishing it. She had lost the taste for it but needed the liquid courage. Placing the glass on the table she made her way across the room towards Stryvek. "Rank stays at the door, no one knows, and you don't try to control me or make me into something I am not." She said as she laid out her conditions before proceeding. She knew it was not appropriate for either of them to be involved with each other, but if they could keep it a secret it might not hurt either of their careers.

Stryvek did not understand her mentioning of no one knowing. People already knew it was in the medical reports as the resolution of his Pon Faar. However, he chose not mention that. "Of course... as long as you never attempt to use our relationship in an effort to better yourself on this ship or in the fleet." Stryvek knew that controlling could work both ways and wanted to show her that he had an understanding of this.

Evelyn’s eyes snapped up to Stryvek’s in clear, but controlled, anger. She set her jaw firmly and quite literally bit the corner of her tongue at the Vulcan’s words. He knew about the K-7 incident, her failed relationship with Gideon Davis and the accusations made against her of using the ambassador for her own career, and worse to help D’Ghor in his attempted Coup d’etat against Chancellor Martok. He knew allegations and rumors were all false and baseless. She was an innocent caught up in something that she had nothing to do with her because of who she knew. Stryvek also knew better than anyone how she struggled emotionally through the whole ordeal. She didn’t just lose her brother and only family, she was made out to be a whore using any means necessary to advance her career. He knew her career was tarnished by the whole event, it was why no one could know they were involved. It took all Evelyn’s will to not say anything, to keep in mind the man likely had no idea how offensive his words were, and simply nod in agreement. “Agreed.” She said with a voice tight from the strain to control her temper. “What happens now?”

"Well I think now we proceed as a couple would. Forgive me but I have no idea on what that means to a human. On Vulcan we would simply go about our lives meeting for meals and the like." For the first time in a long time Stryvek was not aware of what was required of him or how to proceed. He would have to follow her lead on this.

Evelyn began to calm down as she nodded. Stryvek’s calming presence so close to hers was soothing. “Usually it’s something similar.” She said more relaxed, surprised at how easy it was to accept the situation between for what it is once she stopped fighting it so much. Desire to be physically close to him lead Stewart to step closer but she stopped herself before she could lean up and kiss Stryvek as she looked up at him. She hesitated because she couldn’t get a read on if he would want her to kiss him, not from his body language any way, but because she knew she needed to be explicitly clear. “I know how Vulcans view courtships and relationships. I’m accepting the bond for what it is, but I am not yours. Use whatever word you need to tell yourself but I am not your property and you are not mine. I have not committed myself to you.” She said clearly in reference to the archaic wording of a committed relationship. She would be a couple, in secret, with the Vulcan captain but not exclusively. She wasn’t prepared to cross that line with him.

Stryvek knew that the bonding had put a lot of things in perspective for Evelyn. As he had thought the space and time he had given her had caused her to become accepting of the bonding. He would treat this situation no different. "You are human and I am Vulcan. I do expect you to follow logic in this situation. Logic says that you must succumb to some of my people's customs and ways, which you have. Logic further states that I must do the same. To that end if emotions cause you to want to do something or act a certain way in our relationship, then please do not allow my lack of emotions to hold you back."

Stewart smirked at the thought that came to mind at Stryvek's suggestion. "I'm going to hold you to that." She said quietly as she stepped into the man's space again before leaning up to kiss him. Despite his reassurances, it was still difficult not to feel insecure about the situation. Pulling back just enough to look up into the Vulcan's eyes, Evelyn ran her thumb over the seam of his uniform jacket in a self-soothing gesture. Something about Stryvek making the cocky pilot less sure of herself, more anxious. She wasn't used to being this vulnerable, hardly ever doing so with anyone. "Stay here tonight?" Her tone soft and a mix of a request and practically an order.

Stryvek accepted the kiss, it was something he wanted after all. When she broke the kiss he looked down into her eyes with a raised eyebrow. As Evelyn spoke Stryvek looked at her ears, and reached out to stroke the back edge of her right ear. The ear was one of the subtle physical traits that differed Vulcans from Humans. "As you wish..." He responded to her question, knowing that it was his desire as much as hers.

Evelyn watched Stryvek’s face as he stroked the shell of her ear but said nothing. She knew Vulcans were not ones for physical affection, she suspected the man’s thoughts were more of fascination than anything. It didn’t make the gesture any less personal and intimate. Stewart knew it would be foolish to take the Vulcan’s cool demeanor at face value. He may have come to terms with the realities of the bonding much faster than her, but it was still a lot for either of them to process in a short amount of time. She would need to be as patient has he had been with her, though in different ways. If this was how he preferred to take in their differences then she wouldn’t stop him. When she finished she stepped back into his space and kissed Stryvek more confidently, trusting her instincts drawing her to him.

 

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