Unspoken Realities

Posted on Wed Jan 22nd, 2025 @ 7:02am by Lieutenant Evelyn Stewart

2,913 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Year One: Strange Bedfellows
Location: USS Moore - Evelyn Stewart's Quarters
Timeline: MD: 007 - 19:30hrs

Evelyn knelt on the floor in her meditative stance that had become second nature out of years of strict discipline exercises as a child, her meditation lamp lit and sat between her and Stryvek as she listened to his words and tried to focus her mind their instructions.

"Structure, logic, function, control - a structure cannot stand without a foundation, logic is the foundation of function, function is the essence of control. You are in control - You are in control." Stryvek intoned in a steady unyielding voice. He attempted to get Evelyn to focus her mind and allow the emotions to subside. He knew that while he could not wipe emotion from his partner's mind, he could teach her how to control them and thereby make them a stronger couple.

Stewart did her best to maintain focus, but the longer the structured meditation continued, the more a familiar anger and frustration filled her. Memories of having to sit in the living room of her foster parents home, going through these same pointless exercises filled her mind and she broke the meditation with a frustrated sigh as she looked to the sigh in agitation, not saying a word or looking directly in Stryvek's direction.

Stryvek could sense that the meditation was broken and he looked back at his partner with an even, unemotional face. "Is there something wrong that you have ceased the meditation?"

Stewart sighed and brushed a nonexistent strand of hair from her face habitually at her irritation before she finally looked at Stryvek. "There is more to existing beyond logic." She complained.

For the first time since he met Stewart, Stryvek actually agreed with her statement about logic. Of course, this was something he would never do in public. "I would agree that for some people there is a lot more to life than logic. However, for one such as myself it is all there is. It is what gives me focus, and guides my life. It is possible that for those who enjoy emotions, and expressing them, that a health dose of both logic, and a lack of logic is best."

Stewart narrowed her eyes as she followed Stryvek's comments before shaking her head. "I don't understand."

Stryvek's face and tone of his voice took on a more scholarly approach. He seemed to take the role of teacher for the moment. "It is entirely logical and perhaps even appropriate that both the Vulcan and Human approach to life is incorrect. That is to say one of entire logic, and one of entire emotion is incorrect. Perhaps a healthy dose of both is what one needs. I believe that you are one such a being."

Stewart simply rolled her eyes as the Vulcan spoke, giving up on the meditation practice all together. "Can we just drop the logic discussion, at least for one night?" She asked with a weariness of regular topic of discussion.

Stryvek cocked an eyebrow he believed that he attempted to start a discussion that was not about logic. However, it is also possible that he failed in this endeavor. "As you wish. What would you like to discuss?"

Stewart got up from where she was kneeling in the meditation corner and went around to the replicator to prepare their dinners. She knew that Stryvek preferred freshly prepared food, but she was not in the mood to humor him as she tapped the commands for his usual meal while she replicated herself some hasperat with Bajoran shrimp and placed both their meals on the small table, moving to pour herself some springwine. "Nothing in particular. I heard there was an issue in the DMZ with some Orions giving Char a hard time." Stewart offered as she poured Stryvek some of the wine and took her own seat.

Stryvek rose and tightened the belt to the robes he wore. He then took his seat at the table. "Thank you for serving the meal." He always made sure to thank her when she did things, as he like other Vulcans did not want a subservient mate, but one that was an equal. "Yes I believe it to be the Orions testing the waters. Looking to see what they can get away with while being aboard this vessel."

Stewart placed her napkin in her lap as she glanced up at Stryvek for a moment from her plate. "Hopefully nothing too serious to keep the good doctor busy in Sickbay." She replied casually about the new Vulcan physician as she took a sip of her spring wine.

Stryvek covered his thought process with a sip of wine. The idea of the new doctor did not sit entirely well with Stryvek. It was the idea of her Romulan heritage that bothered him. However, that was something that should not, and could not be discussed. "I do not believe the Orions will push so far as to cause injury. They receive something out of this deal just as much as Starfleet does. I believe they would not want to rock that proverbial boat."

Evelyn nodded in agreement, focusing on her plate, though only half listening. Her thoughts stuck on T’Mara and her exchange with the doctor in the holodeck. “Well she certainly seems to have plenty of time for herself,” she commented sarcastically. “I ran into her on the holodeck, using my program of Riaax no less.” She added with some hostility slipping into her voice. Stewart wasn’t ready to let go of her contempt of the female Vulcan just yet.

It wasn’t lost on Evelyn that Vulcans preferred to take mates of their own species and rarely choose an outsider. Had T’Mara been assigned to the Moore just a month prior, it’s no doubt she would have mated with Stryvek and both moving on with their lives, neither bonding to the other due to the doctor’s training regarding her telepathic abilities she would have received growing up. Stewart unconsciously shifted in her seat subtly as she took a longer sip of her spring wine to drown the uncomfortable feelings she felt stir deep inside of her that she couldn’t name just then.

One did not have to be empathic to understand the emotions that were at play in Evelyn's head. In the time since they mated Stryvek had taken the time to learn her emotional changes and how to react to them. As he evaluated their relationship and how he learned about her through evaluating her emotions, Stryvek decided to open up briefly. He placed his napkin down and sat back in his chair. His back rigid and his face emotionless. This was close to angry as Vulcans would allow themselves to be seen. "I would appreciate if in private with me you refrain from calling the doctor Vulcan. For she is not, in fact any future children that we may have would be more Vulcan than she." He stopped short of speaking of the Doctor's Romulan half. However, Stryvek thought that Evelyn understood.

Stewart furrowed her brow before she sat back in her seat as she chewed, watching the Vulcan and the change in his demeanor. She thought about what T’Mara said about being a vrekasht kre'nath. For half a moment she was curious as to what exactly Stryvek meant, or T’Mara for that matter, before she mentally shrugged and moved on with the conversation. “The probability of Human and Vulcan conception are exceptionally low.” She commented matter of factly as she took a longer sip of her springwine.

Pouring herself another glass, Evelyn was quick to suppress the wave of sadness she felt at this reality. It was still something she struggled to accept about their relationship, she was unlikely to be a mother, at least in the manner she wanted to be. It was something else she was going to have to sacrifice if she chose to be with Stryvek.

"Natural conception is low. However, through medical intervention it is possible. Need I point out that one of the most successful Federation Ambassadors is a Vulcan/Human hybrid..." Stryvek knew of her want to be a mother, and in fact she would know through the bonding of his want to be a father. "...That said if we decided to procreate then it would be logically worth trying." There was a tone in his voice, one that showed he was sympathetic and actually loved the woman before him.

Stewart didn’t lift her head, only her eyes, from her plate to look up at Stryvek. “And need I remind you, that many on Vulcan did and still do hold bias against him for being half human.” She countered before turning her attention back to her food. If someone as significant as Spock can be looked down upon by Vulcan society for being half human, then what hope would their possible children have? Evelyn knew first hand how repugnant Vulcans can be of outsiders. She knew she couldn’t in good conscience put a child through such a thing.

"That was a different time, as cliché as that sounds. Most on Vulcan now would accept anyone who had at least half Vulcan blood. Well there are still some hybrids who are outcast but I assure you those are not human hybrids..." Of course Stryvek spoke of Romulan hybrids. At the moment it took most of his Kolinahr training to hide his pure hatred for anything Romulan from Evelyn. "...Nevertheless we can address the idea of children if or when that time comes." He paused and raised an eyebrow. "Please forgive me. But is it not custom among humans to keep their offspring close to them? If that is indeed the case there would be no need to worry about our children being outsiders. They would of course be raised on this ship or any other ship that we may be on. I would teach them the ways of Vulcans, just as you would teach them about humans." It of course was not that cut and dry. However, for a Vulcan like Stryvek he saw no problem with what he just said.

Stewart vehemently disagreed with Stryvek's assessment of Vulcan society, based on her own first hand experience of how non-Vulcans were treated. Regardless, she knew it was pointless to push the matter. She wasn't in the mood for an argument. At least not out right. Taking another bite of her food, Stewart chewed methodically as she watched Stryvek and thought before speaking up. "Speaking of the Doctor, I understand she has assimilated quite well to the crew. Rumor has it she has caught the eye of more than one crew member already," she commented on T'Mara's attractiveness before scoffing and shaking her head in disbelief. "You'd think they'd never seen a young female Vulcan before..."

Stryvek had been eating as Stewart spoke, and for the second time in their conversation he placed his utensil down and sipped his drink. He placed his hands in his lap and looked at his mate across the table with a neutral face. "As I said earlier please refrain from referring to the Doctor as Vulcan in my presence when in private. For she is not..." He realized the discrepancy in how he spoke of his future children and the Doctor as a hybrid. In truth he did not care if he was being hypocritical at this moment. He would not stand for that Romulan being called Vulcan. Not when he had the ability to make that not happen.

Evelyn narrowed her eyes at his words and attitude. It was the second time Stryvek brought up T’Mara not being a Vulcan so she’d have to address. “Why do you keep saying that? Because the last I checked if it has pointy ears, green blood, a stoic disposition and bad people skills then it’s a Vulcan.” She said a tad more sarcastic than she meant but she didn’t appreciate being talked to like an idiot.

"Except when it is a Romulan." Stryvek added to Evelyn's sarcastic comment.

Stewart lowered her fork half way to its destination of her mouth at Stryvek’s words and she processed what he said before shaking her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. The Federation would never allow a Romulan, half or not, to serve in Starfleet, much less on a starship.” Her voice growing annoyed at the excuses Stryvek was playing at.

With an incredulous sigh and slight shake of her head, Stewart went back to eating silently. She could feel the jealousy and possessiveness in her over Stryvek towards T’Mara growing and making her more agitated than usual but suppressed it as best she could, replacing it with disgust in herself that she would allow herself to become jealous of a Vulcan of all people.

Stryvek took a few bites of his food and dabbed his mouth with his napkin. "A short time ago the same was said about Klingons. However, since Commander Worf there have been a number of Klingons who have joined Starfleet. Logic would dictate that if a Romulan, or Romulan hybrid applied to Starfleet and passed the entrance exams then they would be allowed to serve. Well, either the Doctor is half Romulan or she lied on her application to Starfleet as her Starfleet record shows her heritage."

Stewart looked at him incredulously as she moved back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest. “Commander Worf is a Klingon that was raised on Earth by Humans essentially as a Human. He’s not the same as other Klingons. And I don’t even know why we are having this discussion. Judging by the disdain in your voice, you are no different than any other Vulcans!” She said with agitation before taking a breath to control her temper and resuming eating, her eyes focused on her fork as it aggressively stabbed at her plate.

Stryvek paused in eating, he paused in everything he was doing. Had she hit a point that he had not realized? Was he in fact just like all other Vulcans? He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "I am in fact Vulcan, so why would I not be like my own people. You are in fact like most humans. Regardless of whether or not Commander Worf was raised by humans he is in fact Klingon, and has attested to such on a number of occassions. So, is he not like others of his kind? All that said where I do agree with you is I do not know the reason we are having this discussion either."

Evelyn didn’t listen to what Stryvek was saying or the argument he was presenting. All she could hear was the same aloof and dismissive tone that every other arrogant Vulcan had. It clouded the way she took his words. Placing her napkin on her lap, she leaned forward and placed her elbows on the table so she could cover her mouth in a subconscious attempt to control what she said. “And how are we? Humans I mean.” She asked, setting her jaw to control the flare of anger at his words. She didn’t need to have lived amongst to know how most viewed humans. It was incredibly well known as the honest Vulcans made no attempt to hide their contempt for her species.

"How are humans? In a word emotional. This is both a hinderance and a benefit. There have been countless examples of when emotions have been helpful to a situation. There are just as many examples of how they have hindered a situation. The idea that one leads with their emotions is where the inheret problem is. One should control their emotions, and not allow their emotions to control them. Many times this is where humans seem to fail." Stryvek could tell that she was angered. Although he was not sure why. So, he decided that he would answer her question. Although, he also knew that she would not like the answer that he had.

Stewart could feel the pin prick of her thumbnail digging into her upper lip to the point she might tear the soft skin in a vain attempt to control herself. "And you are as arrogant as every other smug, condescending Vulcan!" She snapped at him as she momentarily lost control of her temper.

After a moment Evelyn controlled herself and let out a soft sigh to release the tension in her body as she pulled the napkin from her as she pushed off from the table to stand. "I think we are done here. You can see yourself out." she said firmly before bringing their plates to the replicator to recycle before walking into the bedroom. She would deal with the rest of the dishes once Stryvek left. For now it was best to walk away before she could really not control herself.

Stryvek rose from the table and placed his napkin on the table neatly. Without a word he made his way to the door and his proximity caused them to open. He stood in the doorway and watched as she entered her bedroom. There was so much he wanted to say but couldn't. He wished she could fully understand what it meant to be a Vulcan. However, now was not the time nor was it the place. He nodded as if a silent conversation had just occurred and left the quarters.

 

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