Apologies and Understandings

Posted on Sun Apr 20th, 2025 @ 9:51am by Lieutenant Evelyn Stewart & Lieutenant T'Mara

1,671 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Year One: Strange Bedfellows
Location: USS Moore - Deck 5 Corridor
Timeline: MD: 037 - 1830hrs

Stewart had just stepped off the turbolift to head for her quarters before the boxing match when she spotted T'Mara rounding the corner. "Doctor..." She called out, trotting to catch up with the Vulcan woman.

T'Mara tilted her head slightly, a subtle cue that she was uncertain. Stewart had no reason to speak with her that she could deduce...and that made it instantly suspect. The two women had not had an easy introduction, and their exchanges--such as they were--were anything but cordial. "Yes, Lieutenant? Do you require medical assistance?" She looked the human woman up and down, searching for an obvious reason to explain why she was engaging with her.

Stewart let out her breath with a huff. It had nothing to do with exertion to catch up to the Vulcan but from holding it as she considered what to say to the woman. She glanced quickly up the corridor to see no one was coming, suddenly very aware she could be seen speaking to T’Mara publicly. “No, nothing like that. I um…I wanted to thank you for what you did,” she said about T’Mara’s actions in saving her life, “and…apologize, for how I acted.” She added reluctantly though it wasn’t any less sincere.

Stewart could make a thousand excuses, she was reacting to the severed bond, she’s not comfortable with mind melds, she had just lost a friend as well as a lover but she knew there was no legitimate excuse for her behavior.

"Oh." T'Mara responded with a sub-vocal oscillation. She did not understand Stewart. Apologies were not necessary. A scorpion did not apologize for being a scorpion. "Your gratitude is unnecessary. I did my duty as required, nothing more, Lieutenant." She was not sure why she felt compelled to down-play her actions in saving Stewart's life...perhaps it was because if the always-angry-at-her pilot understood how T'Mara had saved her...well, perhaps it would be prudent to start brushing up on hand-to-hand combat techniques.

One rarely survived such sunderings unaided and the cost for survival was graft of sorts. Stryvek's loss had taken too much psychically from Stewart, and T'Mara--perhaps foolishly--gave up part of her katra to give her enough to 'weave' the woman's torn mind back together.

“Gracious as any Vulcan I see.” Stewart commented sarcastically to the doctor’s bluntness. Glancing down the corridor, Evelyn took a step down it as she moved on to more delicate matters. “So you really are half Romulan.” She stated softly so they were less likely to be overheard. She didn’t so much as ask as confirmed what Stryvek had told her during their last dinner they shared. The mind meld, or whatever T’Mara had done to keep Stewart alive giving her insight into the doctor’s own life up until now.

To say it changed how Stewart viewed T’Mara was an understatement. They had many similarities in their experiences on Vulcan. Though this was something Evelyn never planned on sharing with the woman.

T'Mara blinked. Evelyn knew...and with that everyone would know...and life could become hard again. Most could tolerate a Vulcan...but a Half-Romulan? Instant suspicion. Unfortunate.

"Yes." She replied with a sense of resignation.

Stewart hardly glanced at the woman, mindful of the fact they were in a public space. “It would be best if you kept that to yourself.” she said in Vulcan evenly as they walked, “Regardless of the war, most in Starfleet, or the Federation for that matter, have never trusted Romulan, or their descendants.”

Stewart herself strangely preferred Romulans. While deceitful and untrustworthy, even amongst themselves, they were honest about who they were and their nature. They were fiercely passionate, loved deeply and were honorable, even if that sense of honor was different than what most would consider.

Stewart glanced at T’Mara and considered. Though she was older than Stewart, by Vulcan standards, T’Mara was still very young and this and her time at the academy was likely the longest she had been away from her homeworld. “It’s not common knowledge, I assure you. And I intend to keep it that way." she continued to explain to the woman in Vulcan.

"I am well aware of the consequences such information would have on how I am perceived." T'Mara replied but her tone of voice wasn't her normal cool, aloof tone. It sounded...tired. Stewart's pledge to not divulge her 'truth,' did not bring comfort. It meant that the woman held something over her now. "So what is it that you want for your continued silence?" Was this now not the next part of the negotiations? Why else would Stewart confront her like this?

Stewart stopped and looked at the Vulcan woman. “I want nothing.” She said in Standard, genuinely offended at the insinuation. “I came here to apologize for how I treated you and you accuse me of extortion?” She asked dumbfounded. Stewart was a lot of things, and she knew it, but she had morals.

Shaking her head disapprovingly, she looked at the woman. “You have a lot to learn, child” she said to T’Mara, the connotation clear given she had heard it uttered at her so many times when she was disciplined by her foster parents. Evelyn continued walking with T’Mara though. “Despite what you may think, I am not a horrible person. I understand the seriousness of the situation and wouldn’t put you in harms way.” she continued in Vulcan to protect their privacy as much as possible.

T'Mara did not look remotely contrite for her 'accusation.' Everyone wanted something. That was the way of things. Did she misread Stewart? Perhaps, but nothing the human woman could say would change her current outlook. "I have not been a child for...a long time, and I would postulate that what I think is utterly irrelevant to you. Your words are noted. You will not say anything about my deficiencies."

Stewart sat back on her heels in confusion at T’Mara’s self assessment. “Is that what you think they are?” She asked the Vulcan with genuine concern mixing with her confusion about her Romulan heritage. She of all people knew of the prejudices of Vulcan society to outsiders, but she had always on some level rejected it finding strength when she leaned into her emotions.

"If not deficiencies, then what? My mother was a Tal Shiar covert operative embedded with the Vulcan Diplomatic Corps. It made the interplanetary holovids. I am the mixed-breed offspring of a Romulan spy. My existence disgraces my family and my clan. So my life was erased. It was the Logical choice."

Stewart's concern gave way to offense. "There is no logic in punishing a child for the sins of the parent." She said firmly, disgusted by the Vulcan dogmatism and thinly cloaked bigotry by the so-called enlightened race.

"Evelyn, your feelings on the matter are as irrelevant as mine were years ago, but we are in agreement. It ultimately does not matter. Kaiidth. What is, is." How many times had she uttered that word to herself?

Stewart looked at the taller Vulcan, disgruntled. She wanted to continue to argue her point, but reluctantly admitted to herself T’Mara was right. It would be a futile exercise. With a sigh, she continued down the hall towards her quarters as they spoke, trying to think of how to move on with the conversation. “I suppose you will be at the boxing matches tonight?” She asked the physician. Evelyn suspected the woman would be there at least in an official capacity.

"The boxing match?" T'Mara ran through her mental 'rolodex,' and pulled out a request to present to cargo bay 2 at 1915 hours in a medical capacity...this must be what Stewart was referring to. "Yes, I believe I have received a request to attend, in an official medical capacity. Is this boxing so...violent, as to need a physician on-site?" T'Mara had no idea what 'boxing' was...perhaps some quick research would be prudent before arrival.

Stewart stopped at stared at the Vulcan in utter confusion. "How can you not know what boxing is?" she asked rhetorically, "Two people get into the ring and punch the hell out of each other." Evelyn sighed and shook her head, not realizing how naive the woman was until now, nearly pitying her.

With a sigh, she glanced around the corridor to see if anyone was able to overhear what she was about to offer. "Listen, I know you Vulcans prefer your solitude, but if you'd like, maybe we should get together some time for Kal-Toh or something."

By Stewart's change in facial expression along with her response to her question, T'Mara realized she should have kept her inquiries to herself. "Oh. I see." The words were barely out of her mouth before Stewart suddenly moved closer and made her apparently impromptu offer.

Did Vulcans prefer solitude? T'Mara did not know seeing that she considered the thought of ongoing isolation to be repugnant. It was an offer for further association - she had no reason to say no. "That would be acceptable, although...I am not a particularly skilled Kal-Toh player."

Stewart just stared blankly at the other woman for a moment before letting out an exasperated sigh. "Why do I feel like the Vulcan of the two of us." She intoned to herself before giving T'Mara her full attention, "I'm sure you are a quick study. I gotta go but...we'll set something up." She promised the doctor, already slowly inching down the corridor towards her quarters to get ready for the fight.

T'Mara was not quite convinced, but chose to keep her opinion on the matter to herself. "As you wish, Lieutenant." She replied, equally as vague. At least the human female wasn't all but snarling at her anymore...

 

RSS Feed